Sunday, April 3, 2011

Chapter Two: Don't Stop In Your Tracks

What is it about an escalator that befuddles people?  I never get on an escalator when I don't observe riders in front of me getting that "What am I going to do when I reach the top/bottom?" blank look on their faces.  Here's an idea:  When you reach the top or bottom, move out of the way!  The top or bottom of an escalator, directly in its path of entry or exit, is NOT a good place to get your bearings.  

It's OK to take a few extra steps away from the escalator while you figure out if you need to go left to get to the Cinnabon kiosk, or if you need to go right to get to Popeye's Chicken.  In fact, it's a GREAT idea to take those few side steps.  An escalator can be a dangerous mode of transportation if you don't.

While we are on the subject, here are some other places where you should not stop in your tracks:

  1. The entrance to the ladies' room.  
  2. The entrance or exit to a store.  
  3. At the shopping cart corral inside the grocery store.
  4. In the middle of the street as you are crossing from one side to the other when there are people behind you.
  5. In the doorway of an elevator while you are shouting out to your friend, "Don't hurry, I'm holding the door for you!"
  6. In the movie theater as you enter after the movie has already started and you are looking for your friends who are already seated.
  7. In mid-cycle of a revolving door.
  8. When you are directly in front of anybody with a cup of coffee in their hands.
  9. When you reach your car that is parked in a prime location and there are cars waiting to get it.
  10. If you are a man and you are with your wife and you see a really, really beautiful woman.